On Tuesday, Silas broke his collar-bone. It was a pretty traumatic experience for all of us- but we know that the Big Man was looking out for him… because his injuries could have been much, MUCH worse- so we’re thankful. Dave and I were skeptical about how Silas would handle being in a sling, and how he’d adapt to the “take it easy” orders for the next two weeks. Well, we’ve realized the sling doesn’t phase him, and there’s no slowing him down…
It has been quite a week- it feels monumental actually.
On Tuesday, we finally found a pre-school in town that we felt comfortable with. Actually- that’s an understatment- we finally found a preschool that we are excited about for Silas. We spent an hour or so interviewing the staff and watching Silas mingle with the other kids. We learned about their “philosophy” of “play school” and how they implement their Christian foundation in the daily happenings of their 3-year-old class. And then we made the big decision to “claim” the final spot they had open. The very next day, with butterflies in my stomach and a knot in my throat- I watched my son head off to school for the very first time.
I was nervous. I prayed incessantly. I was excited for Silas and scared for him all at the same time. I swapped text messages with Dave about thirty times- as he was checking-in on Silas through the fence during the entire 3-hour first day of preschool. It’s crazy, how in the same instant Silas felt so much like a little boy to me- ready to take this next step of growing up- and then he also felt so small; like he really just belongs nuzzled in my lap forever. But I let him go… and I’m so proud of him.
I was so excited to take this picture the other day. Not because of any spectacular photographic properties (and hello, Silas will “smile” for pictures now, but always closes his eyes…shame)- but because it captures Silas surrounded by all of his favorite things. His blanket, his blocks, and his three trains that go almost everywhere with him- and always join him for bedtime.
If you had a picture taken with your favorite things… what would I see?
The last few days have been challenging ones. It started Easter evening. The day had been full of goodness- morning church service, afternoon braai (cookout)- and I went home around 6 feeling physically exhausted but with a full heart. It was about a half-hour later that Silas wanted nothing to do with his Easter basket- or his chocolate- and I knew something was up. Within the hour, he was in my lap shivering and the vomiting began- and it didn’t stop until Tuesday. In the midst of one profuse episode, with tears streaming down his cheeks and his chest heaving, he looked at me and through quivering lips said, “I need a band-aid”.
The look on his pitiful face said even more to me than his audible words but what I heard him saying was… I’m hurting, I’m sick, and I want to feel better. Please comfort me and make this go away. And for the next 30 hours- I tried to be as physical-a-band-aid as I could be. I held him a lot. I sang to him a ton. I prayed over him constantly. And just so he knew I was there, and that I heard him… I stuck lots of band aids on his hands and feet.
At the end of these long few days… I found myself laying in bed and crying out to God… I need a band-aid… and those few words were plenty for my Father to know just what I needed; that I needed Him. When we don’t have the strength to say all that needs to be said… we can simply say we need Him… in whatever words we can muster…and that’s enough… and He’ll show up.
Silas has no idea that one of his favorite games- throwing rocks into the water- is incredibly good for my heart. See, I throw stones right alongside him- but as I pick them up, I give them a name… like fear, worry, insecurity, shame. And then I fling them as hard as I can into the air, watch them break the surface of the water , and then sink out of sight. Sure, I still know the rocks exist… but I’m not carrying their weight anymore. They aren’t weighing me down. Instead, I’ve let them be absorbed by Something much bigger, where the ripples they create last only as long as their names are on my lips. Through Silas’ game- He has taught me a whole new way to pray. Or play. Or both.
It’s still before 7am and I just put my daughter down for her morning nap. That means I was up way too early. But now, with a few cups of coffee fueling the engine of my mind… it would be pointless to try and sleep. So instead… I opened my email and one had just come in from Dave. He took Silas to Cape Point today… one of my favorite places in the world… and then I saw this:
and I literally felt it. Their imprints… on my heart… on my life… on who I am. They are pressed in to every part of me.
i miss you.
I was reminded yesterday that there is no greater joy than watching your child filled with delight.
We had decided to go out for pizza as a family… which is no small task given our local options. So- we committed to the 40 minute drive to get to the Montrose pit-stop… a little slice of somewhat-fast-food heaven (it’s kind of like a stand-alone food court that you would find in a mall… it has a coffee shop, a fish place, a pizza place, a burger joint, and an ice cream shop). We hadn’t been there since back in 2001 and there were some major changes. The greatest one for us… was an “American” style play ground. It was made of durable plastic… no hard metal, no chipping paint, no questionable climbing structures. It had a “dizzy slide” and a “tunnel slide” and a straight down “fast slide”. Silas was beyond excited. He played and laughed and played some more… until after the sun went down and his pizza was cold. It was fantastic. When sheer exhaustion finally caught up with him… he scarfed down two pieces of pizza and then we topped off his night with an ice cream cone. As we got in the car to head home, Silas smiled at me with his vanilla crusted lips and said, “that was a fun playground” and my heart was incredibly full of joy.
Okay… I realize I’m getting a little video-happy on my blog. I promise- a real post is in the works… but this is one of those must-see moments for all of our relatives back home…
The biggest new happening this week….
Cereal!!!
And for Si-guy… being a huge hit in Lesotho… he was very unsure of all the attention…
I captured a sweet moment on Monday. A moment that tells me sibling jealousy is giving way to love… so enjoy this sweet moment as this week’s Wednesday’s Window… a day late!
these are my treasures
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